has stalked my nights,
the fading borders of my days,
and the shadows cast by fear and uncertainty.
Third
brother and last child,
arriving in place of a desired daughter, I've
forever known a veneer of separation in the midst of a passionate family.
Often
ignored and just as often discarded
by older brothers that wanted no part in my limitations,
I found solace in imagination, walls, and distance.
Erecting
fortified palisades to both hide
and protect, my
inabilities, insecurities, incompetence.
Cast
as first among friends, my youth was spent
offering support and encouragement to those who by the merest act of accepting,
left me behind to embrace my then vacant horizon.
Never
partnered, at least not in deeds, my life has been
burdened as that of a single oxen forever locked in the trace chains of misery
with link upon link dragging ever deeper into the ruts of dismal continuity.
Forever
insulated from the warmth and vibrancy of life and
the tenderness of companionship and love
my footprints pace patterns with no other on the pathways of existence
Ending
Staggered step by staggered step
against the solid wall
of nothingness
© Copyright 2017 Marty Vandermolen
