The Mill Pond Musings: July 2013

Monday, July 29, 2013

Tug-o-War

Approaching the line with defeat in their eyes

yet hope burning in their hearts

Outmatched, outnumbered, even outsized

they played their appointed parts.

Lifting the rope they planted their feet

when suddenly a change took place

Steeling their nerves they renounced defeat

and suddenly were in the race.

The signal to start rang loud in the air

their muscles took up the strain

Giving greater than their expected share

ignoring the feelings of pain.

One minute passed, two, three, then four

ever stronger their spirits did rise

Arms and legs tired, yet still they gave more

striving to win the prize.

Five, six, seven minutes crawled past

with sweat upon their brow

Each digging inside, drawing strength to last

refusing to give up now.

The referee was stunned, the spectators stopped

astounded by the battle they saw

As all of the team’s muscles popped

they filled the crowd with awe.

Sheer numbers finally carried the day

prevailing not, the boys still had fun

Thus earning the right to stand up and say

they were winners…every one.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

I am surrounded

By old things

Damaged and dull things

Dented and torn things

But

Underneath the wear

And the rust

And the tiredness

Each

Stirs memories

Awakens passions

Warms emotions

Exudes life

Life Past

It happened quietly

Remorselessly

Unknowingly

I was young

Trim

Confident

Life was ahead

Exciting

Inviting

Days flew past

Months

Years

Children were born

Raised

Matured

Life was busy

Rewarding

Fulfilled

Now its waning

Darkening

Departing

It was enriching

Rewarding

Worthwhile

Looking Back

The fullness of the day settles

                     Below the horizon line

Stars emerge and sparkle

                     Bridging eons of time

The waning light is dying

                     The darkness nears complete

Echoes of a life half lived

                     Crash around my feet

Standing near the sunset

                     Staring back towards dawn

Across the sand of my days

                     My footprints washed and gone

Phases

Play

Learn

Run while free

Serious

Focus

Try to be

Give,

Provide

Carry the load

Share

Care

Truth be told

Tired

Lonely

Life is past

Nearing

Ending

Come at last

Wasteful Day Washed Away

Wind-blown sand beneath bare feet
Easing aches with crashing beat
Surging, foaming, roaring wave
Swept the waste that was this day
Whispered breeze of salt tinged air
Carry away each trial and care
Shimmering shining sinking light
Lead me into a restful night

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Forgive Me

He laid head back, his eyes were glazed

He sounded incoherent, he acted dazed

He said “Forgive me for the wrong I’ve done”

He said “forgive me, forgive me son”

“I thought I was doing the best I could do

Thought it was what was right for you

And also what was right for me

Can you? Can you? Can you see?”

“I always kept my shoulder to work’s wheel

No matter how bad that made me feel

I always stood up to do my share

Never realizing how that was unfair”

I could never see beyond any given day

Never learned the words for what I wanted to say

Never could I tell you just how very dear

You are to me and of feelings near”

“You see I’ve missed the very best part

Of our life together from the very start

For I saw naught else but the road ahead

Not the rising sun, nor evening sky red”

I suppose there is much which you can’t forgive

Even though I haven’t long to live

And certainly the blame belongs with me

For what I failed to know or see”

With his last gesture he motioned me near

And repeated to me in words crystal clear

“Forgive me for the wrong I have done”

“Forgive me, Forgive me, Forgive me son”

Who is This?

Life changes us all:

As I look back

It is impossible

To recognize the boy

Gazing

Forward

At me.

But he lives

the memories I treasure

And I fulfilled

The dreams he dared.

He is me

And he is not

I am he

And I am not

We share his past

We share my future.

I Can Do This

Taught my boy,

his boy, and girl too

It really is nothing,

nothing new

I used to do it,

I can tell

Its something I did,

really well

I can do this….

Though my fingers seem

to have forgotten

This simple task

They’ve done so often

I know

It’s something

I can do

At least, something I used to

I can do this….

My Heart

It died.

I am not
          at all sure
                    when

But I do
          know
                    how

It survived
          for years
                    in the dirt

Trod upon
          enduring
                    agonies

One day
          I noticed it
                    was gone

Went back
          to look and
                    there it lay

Pale and
          still and
                    shriveled

Starved
          and hurt
                    and neglect

I gathered it
          it up and
                    buried it

Deep then
          mourned its
                    unseen passing

Now I
          just exist
                    hollow

Hard
          bitter
                    cold

Continuing
          this journey
                    through

The world
          dry and
                    lifeless

Splash

Why it happens

               No adult may know

Though it’s been this way

               Since long ago

No child has refused

               To get a share

Of the irresistible calling

               In dampened air

Every child clearly

                Understands

While joyful puddles

               Lie on rainy lands

Splash!

The Dawn

Bells call me to back to life

To beat of drum, sound of fife

Shaking off sleep I open eyes

Throwing off night I begin to rise

For a new day has dawned for me to meet

New challenges await, for me to beat

And battles await my strong right arm

For a man like me; there lies life’s charm

Empty

My footfalls echo

Along the empty, icy walls

Scattered by the lingering shadows

Of lost mementos

Heels pound warnings

Off of the brittle ceilings

That once sheltered

My completeness

Soles mark time

On the barren rocky floor

Separating pleasures past

From awaiting eternity

Gone forever is living

From where my love

Once joyously flowed

Lived, and breathed

Leaving me to endlessly

Tread this vacant

Husk

Called life.

The Finite Clock

Time scribes a fine edge, sketching the border of life;

Tracing the horizons and pitfall blemishes of your days;

Often failing to flesh-out the dreams that flow through the back-bays of your mind;

Grating barely perceptively through the vacant realms of indistinct desire;

Ceaselessly defining the slow seconds of futility;

Or the rapid, fluttering, beat of racing hooves on the packed sands of your soul.

Youth yearns for time to leap forward in quantum busts;

Maturity wistfully wishes for it to shuffle to a stop;

Old age alternately cries for it to slip backwards, or to skip to the end of days.

Endure the incessant nerve ticking that punctuates your soul;

Cherish the enriching challenge of each clanging second;

Revel in the joys you wrest from the finite clock of your life.

We Were

You and I

Should not have

been

What we were

When we were

But

We were

Changes

I lean into life

Plodding along the shore

Of this terrestrial being

Through the shifting sands

Of my mortal desires

Thundering change crashes

Upon my shores

Foaming up and over my days

Drowning the very breath

Of permanence

Searching the swept sands

For reason, enrichment, and joy

Settling for challenge,

Frustration, and weariness.

I stagger

The wind moans

Of freedoms that lie

Outside the grasp

Of broken fingers

And arthritic knuckles

Behind me

Stretches images

Of my battles

Ahead shimmers

Tomorrow’s mist shrouded promise

Life’s destruction

When left behind

Will settle like dust

And the goodness of time

Will forever call me forward.

The Silence Grows

Silence starts out

Warm and cozy

Shared secrets

Little smiles

Soft stirrings, then

The silence grows

Slowly

With the first

Misunderstandings

The second fight

The continued frustrations

The silence grows

Until

One day

The silence is

complete

And still

The silence grows

And stillness becomes

The walls

And locks

Of your love’s

Tomb.

Welcome

Dancing notes of tunes I know,

Upon the roof they quietly flow,

Giggling, trickling, spattering down,

Along the streets of this silent town,

Falling steadily across the land,

Wetting my hair while here I stand,

Feeling life’s kiss, so very soft,

With arms thrown wide and held aloft.

The Killing

With painful care I sharpen my weapons
And plan my attack.
Heavy of heart I climb the hill.
The sun is up
My gloves are on
Yet I would stay my hand
…..Forever.

A hundred years
And more
The giant pine has towered
Over this sandscaped valley.
Uncounted winds have pulled
Storms have raged
Suns have baked
To dissolve its tremendous strength.

Who then am I,
A mere man,
To do this deed?
The metal bites deep,
Each strike a mortal blow
That wounds my soul
Makes my heart and arms ache.
Tears steal from my eye

As I strip the world
Of its essence
Chip….by….chip.
Once down and done
With muscles quivering and tears spent
I sit in my private hell
Saddened by my part in this.
Until I see

The first of its seedlings
Thrusting bravely
Into the next century.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Consciousness Flows Softly Into my Mind

The dream begins always the same

Hearing you silently calling my name

Being draw towards you, and within

Feeling loved, and loving, how long it’s been

Knowing that I hold the body and soul

The heart and the mind of this woman I know

Realizing likewise I am held by she

Just as close, as tight, as wild, as free

In my dreams I trace your lines, your face

Carefully caressing this fragile lace

This beautiful fabric fashioned by your soul

Merging together, we each become whole

We met by chance and are now mated

Our lives, our feelings, certainly fated

After the first tender, fleeting kiss

There never was reason or desire to resist

Giving over completely, letting the power build

Aware that inside my feelings are milled

To fit and support this love so free

The way I learned it is supposed to be

Dreams may be brief, and hard to hold

Of this I am sure you have all been told

And so while asleep, we all would stay

In an effort to hold reality at bay

Consciousness flows softly into my mind

Awakening me from my dreams to find

Visions of paradise have come true

I really am lying here with you

I trace your form, your hair, your face

And kiss your neck tenderly to taste

And know through all of my senses complete

That you are here, lying with me, my sweet

And so I stay all through the night

Chasing sleep away until it takes flight

Leaving me to enjoy the reality here

With my arms around you, feeling you near.

Christmas Tradition

Marty thought and thought as he sat on his bed

About all of the things his father had said

Of how Christmas should mean so much more

Than candy, cookies, and presents galore

He thought about the meaning behind Christmas lights

The reasons for Santa and Oh Holy Nights

It seemed that all of the things he’d been taught

Had missed their mark, were surely for naught

Year after year this riddle he’d ponder

Pour over it, and into it, time and wonder

And as the years passed by inside of him grew

The meaning of Christmas…until he was certain he know

Christmas is support and guidance from God above

Christmas is friendship and caring and love

The birth of the Christ child by the manger gate

Is what Christmas was intended to celebrate

Each year he did more for his friends and for others

Made toys for kids, gave food to their mothers

All of this because he learned from his dad

That the more he gave, the more he had

Marty thought and thought as he sat on his bed

About all of the things to his son he had said

Of how Christmas should mean so much more

Than candy, cookies, and presents galore

With Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the land

Not a creature was stirring, except the Mall Band

The shoppers were out, by two and three,

Snatching up deals, hoping for free.

The children were strung out, from sugar galore

While the wrappings and boxes still littered the floor

And Mamma had flown with her “crew” to the mall

While I raked the last leaves, from chill winter’s fall

When out of the house came a shattering noise

Of shrieking girls, and stumblefoot boys

Away to the front door I ran to see

The source of the clatter, shouting and glee

There by the light of the new Hi-def TV

Danced the boys and girls, playing their Wii

With a swing and a miss, and a swing and a hit

I wondered how long before they tired of it

Last year the gifts that just had to be had

Were “Jingo the Dog” and “Eeyore” so sad

And next year I wonder what will I buy

That will be long forgotten, long before July

I returned to my lawn and pile of leaves

Glanced up at the roof and noticed that the eaves

Held clusters of color just caught in the gutter

“Oh, what the Hell, why do I bother”, I mutter.

Across the street sits that old codger Bob

Billowing forth blue smoke from his trusty corn cob

He glances at me with his eyes all alight

As he clasps in his teeth that smelly old pipe

“Ain’t ya glad that you work, from sun up to sun down

To provide for those kids and wife whose in town

So that they can suck up the sweat from your brow

While you labor away, even now”

“I know that you love ‘em, but would it be so hard

If they came to help you out in the yard

And instead of running the electric bill higher

They came out and trimmed down that snagglewood briar”

His brow how it wrinkled, his smile was so merry

I knew that I needed to be very wary

His mean little mouth set in a sneer

As he reached in the cooler for yet another beer

The bowl of his pipe glowed bright in his lips

As from his mouth his sarcasm drips

“There they play and here you work

My but you are really a jerk”

“To let them run over you, feet and head

My boy, you certainly must be seeing red.

Your wife off spending, your kids at play

And you already working away the day”

I spoke not a word, but went straight back to work

For I was not one to ever shirk

My duties and tasks, so willingly bound

To my promise and commitment made and sound

On bended knee some years ago

One Christmas eve, out in the snow

In front of my darling’s father’s house

Old Bob’s, that mean spirited louse.

The Trail

The trail forward

Is faded

Overgrown

And nearly gone

For those entrusted

To maintain it

Looked not back to see

If those behind could follow

Sugar Cookies

There are pleasures I knew when I was young

That I forgot

As I grew

Like fairies

And sugar cookies

The slippery coolness of a frog

The bragging rights of a snake

Or the jungle (of three trees) in the backyard.

Over the years pleasures became

Possessions

My corvette

390 cubic inches of speed

My snow skies

My house and pool

Jacuzzi and tennis court

And the powerful people who used me.

Luckily and just in time

I am relearning

what I knew as a boy

And while it would have been

Better if

I had not forgotten

At least my grandson and I will recover

What my son and I lost

Drawn and Sharp

My life it seems has all been spent

War’ing and fighting away

Each and every moment

Of each and every day

From the time when I was but a boy

In the valley beyond the hill

My life has passed with no real joy

And far too many a thrill

Till now I know not how to live

Without sword drawn and sharp

Though all I have I’d gladly give

To relax to the sound of harp

And spin some tale of bygone days

Of loves won with stolen kiss

Though truth vanish into dream spun haze

It be better truth than this.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Plane Tracks

Internal combustion
                    engines roar

That’s what makes
                    an airplane soar

I learned long ago when
                    I was in school

About the moisture made
                    by burning fuel

And of ice that forms at
                    thirty-thousand feet

When moisture and freezing temperatures
                    meet

Yet each day I gaze with wonder
                    anew

At the frail white traces on
                    beautiful blue

Hesitant and Uncertain Futures

When the hours of day are numbered

And dreams control the night

The soul wakes that has slumbered

To a calming lovely sight

The sanctuary of home invites

While, like phantoms grim and tall

Shadows from the fitful fire-lights

Dance upon the walls

Then with slow and noiseless tread

Comes a messenger divine

Takes the vacant seat beside my bed

Lays her gentle hand in mine

And she sits and gazes at me

With those deep and tender eyes

Like the stars so still and dreamy

Looking downward from the skies

Uttered not, yet comprehended

Is the spirit’s voiceless prayer

Asking merely to be accepted

Breathed from lips as light as air

Unsure of feelings false or blessed

And trembling as with fright

My pounding heart within my breast

Wakes me unto the lonely night

Evil Incarnate

You need not believe

In God

Or the Devil

To know Evil

You can hear Evil

Shout “Nigger”

“Fucking Fag”

“Asshole”

Open your eyes

Evil knifes cats

Drives car-seated infants into lakes

Initiates genocide

Open your mind

Evil grows violence

Initiates envy

Causes misery

Evil exists

Entices

Seduces

When fed a soul

Evil can’t breath

Grow

Abide

In a loving heart

Love Dies

Hostility

Filled with

tension

And words

unsaid

Silence

Grows

from seconds

long years

Love

dies

Heart beat

heartbeat

Lovers Once

Lovers once
          Lovers Still

The magic can

          The magic will

Obscure the future

          Cloud the past

Body to Body

          May not last

Yet soul to soul

          And mind to mind

No truer treasure

          Can one find

I knew you once

          I love you still

I always have

          I always will

Though time and distance

          Come between

You will always be

          What you’ve come to mean

A place that’s safe

          For my heart to rest

In my heart and mind

          Always the best

That life had to offer

          A poor soul like me

Even if “we”

          Weren’t meant to be

I’ll dream of what

          I had and lost

I’ll feel the pain

          And rue the cost

That I have caused

          And I have paid

For the choices that

          I have made

I’ll mourn my part

          In all of this

Wishing you future joy

          And future bliss

That never was mine

          Though I held it near

Whenever you let me

          Hold you, dear.

A Stranger's Face

As I look back it is almost impossible to recognize

the boy gazing forward at me.

But he has lived the memories I treasure and I have

fulfilled the dreams he dared.

He is me but he is not, I am he but I am not; We share

his past and we share my future.

Borne with a Smile

I have ridden the wind, weathered the storm,
Stared into darkness that had no form,
I have challenged the lightening, braved the rain,
Survived the adversity of this dismal plain.

In my time I have stepped up and shouldered the load,
Striding forward boldly over rock filled road,
Never have I begged to be free from strife,
For it is naturally part of this simple life.

Facing the unfaceable, I have absorbed its wrath,
Stood strong as its power swept all else from the path,
Dug in with my nails, grasped firm earth quite strong,
Held on through the agonies, no matter how long.

I have always stood head up, with jaw thrust out,
Facing the power of the world with no doubt,
That if I remained strong, determined and bold,
Stories of my trials and battles would be told.

And the lesson could be taught, round this earth,
To those who have yet to experience birth;
"Enjoy life and the living", for all the while,
I bore it with pleasure...and with a smile

The Living Room

Thirteen feet

eighteen feet

eight feet

minus the space

for the piano

the sofas, bookcases, tables

and TV

Husband

Wife

so close we could touch

only

we dont

we sit

shattering silence

The Living Room?

Not for Us

Three Foot Down

On any given day, of any given week, of any given year;

If you were to visit my father's house,

you could be certain to find

a freshly dug hole

in the dirt

Three Feet

And

Three Foot Down

Perhaps in the vegetable garden along the fence;

by the side of the house in the flower beds;

behind the garage by the chickens

or even in the hard-packed

driveway dirt

Three Feet

And

Three Foot Down

You can be certain that each and every hole,

from week to week, was identical

The corners were square

The floor was level

The walls true

Three Feet

And

Three Foot Down

My brothers and I started up blisters and calluses,

ended up learning discipline and the value

of work, and of sweat, and of pride

three feet by three feet and

Three Foot Down

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Snow

Fractured water, floating down,
Upon the silence of the town,

Muffling noise and cloaking trees,
Piling up from cool crisp breeze,

Covering lake, hill, and street,
Softening the falls of hurrying feet,

Cleansing the land before it white,
Vowing to last throughout the night,

To still be alive with the morning sun
Beckoning you out to join in the fun,

Calling your name in the bright thin air,
Easing your worry, replacing your care,

With thoughts of joy, and love, and peace,
Blanketing the world in its silvery fleece.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Of Castles and Kings

My daughter, said I

There’s no reason to cry

For soon asleep you will be

Then you will know

Of a time long ago

As your dreams run wild and free

Of Castles and kings

Horses with wings

And dragons that float through the blue

With knights brave and bold

Of whom stories are told

And a maiden who looks just like you.

Translate

Monday, July 29, 2013

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Friday, July 26, 2013

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Tuesday, July 23, 2013